Pickl Vision

A couple days ago I was on the treadmill at the gym for my daily run, when I glanced up at one of those big LCD TVs and noticed Dr. Phil interviewing a teacher who allegedly had sex with a student. “What a perv!” You’re probably thinking. “I hope they cut off his nuts!” you shout in righteous indignation, and you would not be wrong to say so in most cases, but not here my friends.

See, this teacher wasn’t your stereotypical school-place molester- ie, a tired old tech department worker who spends his work hours cruising the MySpace pages of the incoming freshman tail, or a crusty old janitor who models his life after Robin William’s character in One Hour Photo as if he where the risen Christ. No white candy-filled vans here. No “extra-credit” sex-ed assignments. No anatomy-class detentions gone horribly wrong.

No my friends. See, this teacher wasn’t what we normally think of as a sexual deviant. This teacher was not a dirty old football coach furiously tugging his manhood while watching the chiseled bodies of his players rinse themselves clean through the well-concealed hole in the wall he’d constructed. In fact, the teacher wasn’t a “he” at all. That’s right, this teacher was female. Not only that, but she was HOT.

Yes, some lucky bastard- actually, THREE lucky bastards, had allegedly been fortunate enough to sample the fruit of a certain Texas high school French teacher named Joelle Ogletree. It would seem that there is in inverse relationship between the attractiveness of this woman’s name and her physical appearance, because while she is gorgeous, her name sounds like something that might get caught in the back of Shrek’s throat during a night of indiscriminate berry-foraging.

Regardless, the story just goes downhill from here. The students filed lawsuits and Mrs. Ogletree was fired from her job. However, one of the students admitted lying and the other two were discredited, so the charges were dropped. Now, some five or six years later, she appears on doctor on Dr. Phil to settle this fiasco once and for all. (Can you imagine that conversation between Ogletree and her attorney? “Counter lawsuit? Heck no, that’s for chumps! We’re going strait to Dr.Phil!”) One of the “victims” agrees to take a polygraph and answer questions for the show. Ogletree is on the stage the whole time listening, as well as giving her version of the story.

I’m not gonna bore you with details. In fact, I wasn’t even interested in who was telling the truth, because both their stories were pretty sketchy. The only thought going through my mind while watching this was, “why does our society view this as a crime?”

A hot female teacher is supposedly fucking an underage male student. This is the dream of every dude in high school and this little pussy goes on TV talking about how “embarrassing” it is! No, you dork, you should be embarrassed for making an ass of yourself on national television. The kid does something that would make his school’s gay-ass Prom King green with envy and this is how he reacts? What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

Now, you may be thinking that someone could turn argument around and use it to defend male teachers who do the same thing. The answer is, no, they can’t. See, when a male teacher does this, it’s usually called all kinds of things like “rape”, “crime”, and “sickening”. When an attractive adult woman does the same thing, words like “nice”, “awesome!”, and “Hell yes!” are usually used. Men who do this are perverted scum. Women who do it deserve a whole page in the yearbook. Simple, right? Unfortunately, most people in positions of authority don’t feel this way. They prefer using those first words.

This as most of you probably agree, is retarded. You know what I say about this whole thing? Who cares! This article isn’t really about the case discussed on Dr. Phil, because Lord knows this isn’t the first time this has happened. It’s about people’s bizarre reaction to it. Underage kid allegedly has sex with a hot teacher. So what? What’s the problem here? Yeah, undoubtedly something like this is going to create some drama, but that stuff that should be settled without people tuning it into the crime of the century. There are more important things going on this world to get riled up over than some lady with a teaching degree starting her career as a cougar a little early. In this particular example, Ogletree was facing 160 years in prison for these charges. No, that was not a typo. ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY YEARS for fooling around with some students. Am I the only one who finds this ridiculous? Don’t give me any of that P.C. crap about how holding a male teacher to a different standard would be sexist and unfair. You know what? It IS different. It’s NOT unfair. Guys who do things like this are just fucked up and often involved in other kinds of crime. (Attractive) women who do this are awesome. It’s that simple.

Just to put this in perspective, I’ll give you a visual aide: