Pickl Vision

It’s been a helluva few weeks for the world of MMA. Last weekend was UFC 84 of course, with BJ Penn’s TKO victory over Sean Sherk and the “Dean of Mean” being beaten into catatonic state. This whetted our appetites for this weekend’s sweet n’ sour helping of MMA action.

Last night as most of you know was the debut of EliteXC on CBS. I’m just going to get this out of the way real quick…IT FUCKING SUCKED. The whole thing was so cheesy and overdone. Whenever there was an unanticipated gap in between fights, they would send dancing girls out to gyrate in front of the crowd to make them forget how much the show blew. Camera angles were fucked. During the main event, they inexplicably switched from a closeup shot to a camera in the far back of the arena (?). Each fighter, no matter how mediocre, had his own fucking laser light show. Terrible, sloppy production helped to ruin what should have been an awesome program.

But that wasn’t even the worst part…oh, no. The fights themselves were what made you wish you had those two hours back when you turned off the TV.

First fight: I don’t even remember these clowns’ names, but one of them came out with Busta Rhymes, who sang his intro, so I automatically hated him. Very quick TKO.

2nd fight: Phil Baroni vs. Joey Villasenor. Phil Baroni is kind of funny, I’ll admit. His unbelievable swagger up to the ring is hilarious. His style is more suited for the WWE than an MMA league. This was confirmed by his fourth consecutive loss (another fast TKO). I found the commentator’s remark that a win for Baroni would “restore his legendary confidence” very funny. Je-zus, I can only imagine what is this guy like on a winning streak No offense Phil, it might be time to take a break for a while.

3rd fight: Here we go! I was annoyed at this point at how much this program sucked, but a female MMA match, something I’d never seen before, saved the day. That girl who fought Gina Carrano got her shit wrecked. She looked like she belonged in a battered women’s shelter. Gina is quite hot BTW, which is why I ended up rooting for her. Beauty and brawn in one sexy package. 2nd best fight of the night.

I’d like to get in her gaurd.

Robbie Lawler vs. Scott Smith, a title match, was a good fight. It was getting pretty damn vicious until that bullshit doctor stoppage. THERE WAS NOTHING FUCKING WRONG WITH HIS EYE! I am positive they stopped the best fight of the night early because of the shows 2-hour time limit, so Kimbo’s fight could be broadcast sooner. Pure crap.

And of course, the much-hyped. Kimbo Slice vs. James Thompson…what a sloppy, boring fight. Kimbo has no ground game at all. He has absolutely no idea what to do on his back. Thompson was practically giving him half-guards but he never took advantage. Thompson, while not as wasn’t that great either. I think the stoppage was legit, but if it hadn’t come to that, some sort of rigging would have taken place. After seeing that BS in the previous match, I am convinced EliteXC would never let someone as hyped as Kimbo lose in the debut program. Very mediocre show. All I could think think of while watching this was that somewhere, Dana White is sitting on a throne with a fluffy white cat on his lap, watching and rubbing his hands together saying “Excellent! Everything’s going according to plan…”

I believe Elite XC on CBS is going to be a monthly thing…enjoy this program while it lasts, it ain’t gonna be around very long.

After that disappointment I was looking forward to match I knew would deliver the goods: Uriah Faber vs. Jens Pulver.

I came into this pulling for Pulver. I respect Faber, he is a true natural athlete. But at the same time, I feel that Faber is big fish in a little pond. Nobody he’s faced has really challenged him, and if anyone could do it, a ruthless MMA legend like Pulver could.

Despite Pulver’s boasting that the fight would never go to 5 rounds, that’s exactly what happened. Both these guys have incredible stamina. Faber was definietly more aggressive at first, but his punches seemed to have no effect on Pulver…the guy has an Iron head, not just a jaw. He took repeated strikes to the face like they were nothing, and then smiled at Faber afterward!

Pulver gave a solid performance, but he definitely wasn’t aggressive enough. More than a few times, he had Faber against the cage in retreat, but he never went in for the kill. I was on the edge of my seat waiting for one of Pulver’s trademark left handed knockouts, but to no avail. The fight lasted five brutal rounds, with Faber winning by decision.

Also worth mentioning is the Bantamweight title match preceding Pulver vs. Faber. Wow, what a fucking war! Torres and Maeda beat each other senseless for 4 rounds until the doctors had to put a stop to it. Maeda’s face was the color of an eggplant and his right eye swollen shut, and blood streamed down the face of the defending champion Miguel Torres. At one point, they both put each other in kneebars at the same time!! Absolute brutality, easily one of the best fights I have ever seen. Keep your eyes on these two.

Well, it’s been a great summer of fights so far, and with UFC 85 coming up this Saturday, it’s only going to get better! Expect reviews of that as well. Take care.

-DS.